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Matkustin ensimmäistä kertaa Gambiaan vuonna. 2014. Rakastuin maan sieluun, ilmastoon, rantoihin, ihmisiin ja parin reissun jälkeen rakastuimme vakkari taksikuskini Omarin kanssa. 

Gambialaiset miehet rakastavat naisten kehumista, huomion antamista sekä auttamista. Tämä käytösmalli yhdistettynä Omarin veistokselliseen vartaloon vei sydämeni. En ollut suunnitellut rakastuvani Gambiassa ja olenkin lukenut siitä paljon negatiivisia kirjoituksia. Omar oli seurustelun aloitusaikana 28-vuotta ja minä 59-vuotias, olimme parisuhteessa 3 vuotta. Seksielämämme oli mahtava ja intensiiviset intiimit hetkemme sai minut aina pitkäksi aikaa aivan hypnoosiin. Se oli jotain mitä en ollut koskaan ennen kokenut yhdenkään länsimaalaisen miehen kanssa. 

Aina palatessani Suomeen, lähetin Omarille kuukausittain 300€ tukea asumiseen ja ruokaan. Tämä oli yhdessä sopimamme summa, jonka pystyin ja halusin hänelle lähettää. Kaikki menikin hyvin ja olin onnellinen, kunnes tajusin hänellä olevan muitakin naisystäviä poissa ollessani. Lopulta kävikin ilmi, että muut naiset olivat olleet mukana kuviossa lähes koko suhteemme ajan. Lopetin rahan lähettämisen siihen paikkaan emmekä enää ole tekemisissä. Gambiaan vielä matkustan rakkaudesta maata kohtaan, mutta uutta paikallista miestä en enää aio ottaa.

 
Näin vanhempana jo paljon nähneenä yksinäisenä naisena halusin/tarvitsen  jonkun kanavan huomionosoituksiin ja keskusteluun uusien ihmisten kanssa. Olen kokeillut senioirideittailua, mutta samanikäiset miehet eivät saa minua syttymään. 

Aloin haravoimaan internetistä eri seuranhaku-palveluja ja onnekseni löysinkin Dominodate sivuston. Palvelu vastaa parhaiten saamiani huomionosoituksia ja keskustelukumppania jota on kova kaipuu. Tässäkin kuin jokaisessa tutustumassani palvelussa suurempi osa käyttäjistä on nuoria naisia, jotka odottavat pääsyä antamaan tyydytyksen miehille videopuhelun välityksellä. Vanhempana naisena koen, että intiimi tyydys on minulle entistäkin tärkeämpää, dominodate palvelussa löytyykin miehiä jotka kykenevät antamaan tyydytyksen videopuhelun välityksellä. Tämä saa minut palaamaan takaisin aina uudestaan ja uudestaan. Olen ollut todella tyytyväinen sivustoon, sen toimintaan ja helppokäyttöisyyteen. 

https://puheenvuoro.uusisuomi.fi/masik/160384-gambiassa-vanhakin-nuortuu/

As a teenager, I met a man and had an on-off relationship with him for a decade. He was unfaithful and dishonest, but also handsome, charming and interesting. He moved away but we stayed in touch.

For the past year, he has been telling me that he is in love with me and wants to be with me. I’ve made it clear that I want to move on, but I love him and it’s been difficult. Even now, in my late 30s, when I see or speak to him, I feel the way I did when we first met. I feel shame that I love him because he isn’t able to give me what I want: an honest, committed, loving partner, marriage, a child and a home. My friends and family say I should cut him out of my life – yet I have been unable to. I don’t think he really loves or cares for me.

Recently, he told me he had a child with a woman last year. He has been living with her and trying to be a family, but says he doesn’t love her. This was a complete shock. My autopilot reaction was to congratulate him, but I felt incredibly angry and hurt. Once the shock subsided, I asked him to leave.

I was in a relationship for 8 years, which I thought were happy times. Our sex life was not very good. We only moved in together on our wedding day. ..

Question

I was in a relationship for 8 years, which I thought were happy times. Our sex life was not very good. We only moved in together on our wedding day.

A week after our wedding, I had a huge gut feeling that something was wrong. Over the next three months I saw signs of affair, but did not want to believe this was true.

I followed him one day when he said he was going to the gym; he did not and instead collected a woman. I confronted them both but he swore she was just a friend. I was absolutely devastated, but I wanted to believe him.

Seventeen months later after so much heartache, she called out of the blue and abused me saying how stupid I was because she had been sleeping with my husband for 17 months.

He came home and then admitted everything, saying as we did not have sex it was all about sex, and he was sorry and had wanted to make the marriage work, and had ended it with her, which is why she called me.

After I threw him out he was crying and very sorry so I agreed to give him another chance. I was quite relieved that it was over, he made no effort at all, it was all me.

Subsequently I found out she had sent him a Christmas present and letter which I only found out because I checked his mobile phone.

We agreed to have a break, so we lived apart. I thought he would ask me out and really try, he did not, so I came to the conclusion that I was not going to put up with this anymore.

Instead of getting on his knees, he hit me. I left and have now been living on my own for five months.

During this time I met someone else who I have some kind of a relationship, but he has had similar problems and says he is not ready for a relationship, whereas I am.

Now I have a dilemma: My husband is very sorry, his friends and family all say they cannot believe what he has done as it’s out of his character.

He is suicidal, and says he will do anything to make our marriage work, he wants to go on holiday and renew our vows, start again.

I have considered this as he was OK before, the good points are he is genuinely a good person and a nice guy and we had a nice life, the bad points are he never took my feelings into account when I was suicidal.

When it comes to relationships, society can send mixed messages. In one sense, marriage and relationships are seen as the ultimate goal in life, and anyone on a different path is seen as missing out. On the other hand, the high value placed on independence can cause some to view marriage and relationships as an obstacle.

Neither of these views offers a balanced perspective. Whether you are single, dating or married, it’s important to have a firm grasp of where you are in life. Here are some ways to do that.

1. Make the most of your relationships with friends and family. 2. Spend time chasing your passions and dreams.3. Spend time getting to know yourself. 4. Make time to travel. 5. Grow in your independence. 6. Take more risks. 

Tip: Instead of saying “that dress looks good on you”, try saying “the colourof that dress really brings attention to the sparkle in your eyes”. This type of well-thought compliment can really make an impression and help you know how to get the girl.

The best thing you can do to learn how to get the girl is to just be yourself. Be confident in everything you have to offer someone else. Be interesting and she will be interested in you. This may mean you need to take up a new hobby or travel to an exotic place. You want something to talk about. In fact, you want to have enough to talk about that you never find yourself faced with awkward silences. Learning how to talk to girls is a key thing here.

Your soulmate is someone you feel a strong connection with. You get each other and seem to go together like no other. Your soulmate isn’t always romantic – it can also be a strong friendship.

Your Soulmate Does NOT Complete You

I’m not a fan of the idea that your soulmate completes you. You need to be complete and whole all on your own. Otherwise you are looking at a co-dependent relationship where you are too enmeshed in each other’s lives.

Support is one thing, but doing everything for the other person is not possible or healthy.

Your soulmate will help you learn life lessons, support your personal and spiritual growth and encourage you when you need it most. You can grow together, but also as individuals.

You feel stronger together but this is not based on neediness.

When Will I Meet My Soulmate?

Okay, determining the timing can be a little tough. Who can say for sure when you will meet that special guy? But here’s the thing, instead of worrying about the “when”, focus your energy on being READY!

Live your best life now and enjoy what you have. Acknowledge what is going well and feel plenty of gratitude about what is good today. Smile often and share your joy with others. Be loving to attract the kind of soulmate love you want.

Recently on a warm evening, my friend and I were sitting on my front stoop having a glass of wine and chatting. Out of nowhere a dude comes stumbling down the sidewalk and approaches us. He’s a young guy probably a couple years out of college. It was a Friday night and the scene seemed harmless enough, so we stayed put. The conversation went as follows:

Dude: Hi. Hey. What’s going on?

Girl 1: Just hanging out. Where are you coming from?

Dude: A bar… (He looks off and is visibly wasted)

Girl 2: Oh yeah? Well, where are your friends? (Glancing around)

Dude: I don’t know. I lost them. Can I sit with you?

Girl 1: Okay…

Dude: You guys are awesome. It’s so hard to find good girls in the city and meet someone you really connect with. It’s all just hook-ups… What I want is someone I can connect with.

Girls: Oh yeah? (Surprised) well, yes, it really can be hard.

Dude is zoning out and gets distracted. He refocuses on my friend.

Dude: I like you. You’re pretty.

Girl 1: Thanks…

Dude: Can I kiss you? (he stands up to lean drunkenly toward her)

Girls: WHAT!! No!! (we scream)

Dude: Why not? But I like you…

Girl 2: You don’t even know her. Back off!

Dude: Ok. (staring off, sits back down). It’s so hard to meet a good girl here. Everyone just wants to be in a relationship. And I just want to have casual sex!

Girl 2: That’s exactly the opposite of what you said two minutes ago!!

Dude: What?

Girl 2: Two minutes ago you said you were looking for someone you could really connect with, and now you just said all you want is random sex.

Dude: Whatever. I just like you friend. (he looks at her again blurry-eyed) can I kiss you??

Girls: No!! Okay we’re done, we’re going inside now. Bye. Go find your friends.

Dude: Can I come too?

Girls: NO!!! Buddy, get out of here!

Begrudgingly he led himself down the stoop and meandered down the street.

(Just to be clear we felt safe and equipped in the situation, otherwise we would have left right away. This guy was kind of a shrimp and a total mess. That said, if this is how guys try to pick up the ladies, we’re screwed!)

That’s what all the hub bub is about self love and building self-esteem. When you love yourself first, you have a good deal of confidence and believe in yourself.

This helps you handle all the rejection life throws at you, taking it in stride. You see it as a small bump in the road and are not deterred from your goal – whether you want a new job or a new man, You say to yourself, “Oh well, his loss!”

Ø  But you do NOT assume all the blame.

When you are good with yourself, you don’t beat yourself up thinking it’s all your fault. You can look at yourself and assess what part you might have played in whatever happened which is healthy. And you might choose to improve something or change a habit.

Loving yourself first matters so much because it’s a healthy way of handling life’s disappointments, big or small. And this also helps you recover faster when things go wrong in any area of life.

Whether you believe it or not, you are very special. A unique human being with a personality as individual as a snowflake. You share your presence with those around you, have your own way of looking at things, and make a contribution to the planet.

You may be a full time mom, a grandmother, an aunt or sister, a career woman, a volunteer, a good friend, an assistant or all of these! Perhaps you are good at math or amazingly creative.

And, you have special gifts to make a man happy too.

For example, you may whisper a man’s name in a certain way that lifts his spirits. Or perhaps support his vision, cook delectable meals, massage his shoulders, or laugh at his jokes.

What’s distinctive about you cud be your wit, how you help him feel masculine, share your love or make him smile. Whether or not you are in a relationship – you have so much to offer the right man!

That is what I want you to express gratitude for.

Appreciate Yourself Just as You Are.

I choose to stay single simply because I'm tired of giving everything and ending up with nothing. It is better to lock up your heart with A merciless padlock than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they mean to you.........

My first kiss was my freshman year of college with a girl who was way more experienced. I had never kissed or hooked up with anyone before, and she was from London and so cool and had already had three girlfriends in her lifetime. I didn’t tell her it was my first kiss, because I didn’t want it to be a big deal. One day we skipped class and had a picnic in Prospect Park and we talked so long we ended up watching the sunset. It was like a movie