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Is it too soon to have sex with my date? from HLo's blog

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Sex with a new guy you’ve just started dating can be a bit of a slippery slope. There’s usually a fear that women face, the fear of potentially losing our power once laying bare with him. Will he call again? Will instant messages with him remain the same or will you start double texting, only to be met with a 5 hour delayed response of, “Oh sorry, I’ve only just seen this.

There will always be clear signs that a man only wants to be involved with you for sexual pleasure, this can be by the way he speaks to you and EXACTLY by what he does.


Is he always dropping sexual innuendos? Is he constantly asking to see nude photos/videos? Does he ask who you live with early on, when it had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation? Is HE sending YOU nude photos of himself on Snapchat? Or slipping in inappropriate comments half the time you speak? Does he pop up every 3 months to ask if you’re still with your boyfriend?

Everything I’ve just listed are clear indicators that he’s trying to fuck you, he might eventually like you, but at this present time, he’s trying to hit.


Then, there are the ones who don’t make it their mission to be so overt with what they’re after. You’ll be taken out on dates, spoilt and develop a great foundation of friendship, yet the only aim he has, is to try and have sex with you.


Most women make the mistake of assuming that sex means they get to live happily ever after with this man, or that it’d bring them closer.

It’s not true. Not even if you’re a virgin.


Having sex with someone will never guarantee you as a permanent person in their life romantically, well, unless you’re after a situationship. That’s why it’s important to remember to only have sex for yourself, not because you believe it’ll keep him, not because your friends suggested you should, but because you want to.


I remember when I once slept with a guy I was dating. I always knew that at the back of my mind I wanted to be intimate with him eventually, regardless of where it went with us and that I’d be perfectly fine if things didn’t work out. Would I have preferred if it did? Perhaps. But I did it because I felt a sexual attraction. I couldn’t force something which wasn’t there for the sake of sex. I would have been cheating myself and wasting my own time.


It’s also important to highlight that if you’re a person who can only have sex with someone you’d like to be in a committed relationship with, then explain this to the person you’re dating. It still won’t guarantee anything, but if you’re dating a decent human being, it gives them the opportunity to be transparent with you, but don’t be fooled, because some men will ask to exclusively date you just so they can sleep with you.


Sex can change the narrative of a relationship, but that’s why it’s vital to not rush the sexual side till you’re 100% comfortable on how it could possibly turn out. If you feel like there is a connection, sometimes you might have to withhold sex just to be sure. Yes, I said, withhold sex.


This doesn’t mean that sleeping with a guy during the third month will keep him interested, but instead it allows you to find out what his game really is.


This isn’t to say that men who are relationship oriented don’t exist, they do, but it’s not as common to hear men say they can only get into bed with a woman they’re in a commitment with.





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By HLo
Added Jul 5 '19

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