Should I go back to my Ex Husband ? from Tinytina's blog

I was in a relationship for 8 years, which I thought were happy times. Our sex life was not very good. We only moved in together on our wedding day. ..

Question

I was in a relationship for 8 years, which I thought were happy times. Our sex life was not very good. We only moved in together on our wedding day.

A week after our wedding, I had a huge gut feeling that something was wrong. Over the next three months I saw signs of affair, but did not want to believe this was true.

I followed him one day when he said he was going to the gym; he did not and instead collected a woman. I confronted them both but he swore she was just a friend. I was absolutely devastated, but I wanted to believe him.

Seventeen months later after so much heartache, she called out of the blue and abused me saying how stupid I was because she had been sleeping with my husband for 17 months.

He came home and then admitted everything, saying as we did not have sex it was all about sex, and he was sorry and had wanted to make the marriage work, and had ended it with her, which is why she called me.

After I threw him out he was crying and very sorry so I agreed to give him another chance. I was quite relieved that it was over, he made no effort at all, it was all me.

Subsequently I found out she had sent him a Christmas present and letter which I only found out because I checked his mobile phone.

We agreed to have a break, so we lived apart. I thought he would ask me out and really try, he did not, so I came to the conclusion that I was not going to put up with this anymore.

Instead of getting on his knees, he hit me. I left and have now been living on my own for five months.

During this time I met someone else who I have some kind of a relationship, but he has had similar problems and says he is not ready for a relationship, whereas I am.

Now I have a dilemma: My husband is very sorry, his friends and family all say they cannot believe what he has done as it’s out of his character.

He is suicidal, and says he will do anything to make our marriage work, he wants to go on holiday and renew our vows, start again.

I have considered this as he was OK before, the good points are he is genuinely a good person and a nice guy and we had a nice life, the bad points are he never took my feelings into account when I was suicidal.