I've been in love with the wrong man for a Decade from Toria_x's blog

As a teenager, I met a man and had an on-off relationship with him for a decade. He was unfaithful and dishonest, but also handsome, charming and interesting. He moved away but we stayed in touch.

For the past year, he has been telling me that he is in love with me and wants to be with me. I’ve made it clear that I want to move on, but I love him and it’s been difficult. Even now, in my late 30s, when I see or speak to him, I feel the way I did when we first met. I feel shame that I love him because he isn’t able to give me what I want: an honest, committed, loving partner, marriage, a child and a home. My friends and family say I should cut him out of my life – yet I have been unable to. I don’t think he really loves or cares for me.

Recently, he told me he had a child with a woman last year. He has been living with her and trying to be a family, but says he doesn’t love her. This was a complete shock. My autopilot reaction was to congratulate him, but I felt incredibly angry and hurt. Once the shock subsided, I asked him to leave.