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nata

5 artists boldly using their work to tackle mental health in the black community

Even though he never needed, wanted or asked for it. I gave him my heart, I gave him my soul, and I gave to him all the love that I hold within me. I gave him my respect and understanding. I gave him my compassion and my passion; I gave him faithfulness. I gave him my laughter; I opened my heart like never before and let him know my fears and insecurities, my strengths and weaknesses. I gave him my dreams and made him dreams mine.

I gave him my encouragement and my undying belief in him. I made him my future. If I could love him forever, that wouldn’t be long enough. All these things I give to him freely, willingly and without regret, because of my love for him, and they shall always remain his for no-one else is worthy.


But I know now that I have to try hard to move past him, because of the way he affects my everyday thoughts. I know that I have to quit hoping that I will ever get to hold or kiss him again. I don’t want to wake up anymore, in the middle of the night, thinking about him and not being able to get back to sleep.


The feeling I get in my heart drives me to the point of absolute insanity for now I see him without me. I need to fill that hole in my soul that I carry with me, from losing him, but I know that it will never go away. Love doesn’t work that way.


I need to know what it takes for me not to see him perfectly made face in my heart every time, even when he is not around, I still see him as if he is sitting right next to me. Oh! his beautiful smile, exquisite laugh and perfect body. My heart remains lifeless at the thought of permanently losing his smile, the sound of his laughter, his tears, his scent, his belief in me, his encouragement and the unending compassion that lies in his heart.


You see, I finally learned what real love is and the pain it can bring, and that real love is defined through his every day smile. If you ever find that ability to love and care for someone that much, where each waking day is better than the previous one only because he is still a part of your life, and no matter what happens or what your station in life is, be it rich or poor, love given or withdrawn that nothing can change your heart, because you love someone unconditionally then and only then shall you truly know where real strength and love come from.


I wish God found me worthy to be the head of his heart but I can’t take back what’s in my heart or all the feelings that go with it now, or the fact that every good thing I am today or was capable of becoming, I owe to him and leave with him. Real love is a rare and wonderful thing, and as with most rare things, very hard to hang on to and believe it is truly yours.


It’s not just saying the words; it’s when you cradle that person’s face in your hands and look them in the eyes as your heart beat races and say to them “no, I really mean it, I truly love you


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