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My friend just got out of a long-term relationship and recently started talking to a new guy. He’s a friend of a friend and supposedly the kind of guy you can trust, the kind of guy who doesn’t run around with a lot of girls. Or so she was told.

After a couple weeks and a couple hook ups, she goes to one of the only bars in our small college town, and runs into the guy. He’s sweet, attentive, and apologizing for not being around the past week – he knew she had just broken up with her boyfriend and didn’t want to jump in too quickly.

Just as things started to seem like he was really interested he flips the switch, starts acting really drunk, and has the audacity to leave her with bartender and an unpaid tab. She is forced to pay his $40 bill. Understandably, she is pissed off and goes to hunt down this guy only to find him ordering more drinks on the other side of the bar on a tab he already closed. The bartenders call him out and ask him to leave so he and my friend go back to his place.

When they get there, she notices Urban Outfitters lip balm sitting on his bed. Has he been hooking up with other people since they started seeing each other? No, he says. It’s actually his lip balm.

“But seriously, do you really think I’m going to believe that this is yours? This is GIRLS lip balm.”

“It’s my mom’s,” he says.

For about 10 minutes their argument continues, my friend in complete disbelief that this slightly-tinted lip balm from the beauty section of Urban Outfitters belongs to this guy. Eventually he throws the lip balm out of the room and says it doesn’t exist. Drop it. There is no lip balm. Confused and upset that he denied this to her face, my friend goes home.

The next day he texts her asking what happened the night before. She gives him a brief overview with all the embarrassing details including the scene in the bedroom, and he tells her that he is sorry he was so drunk and rude. He started drinking that day at 5 pm.

“I haven’t been with anyone since we first hooked up, he tells her. “The lip balm, I’m afraid to say, is really mine. My mom had it and I tried it once and really liked it. I know it’s embarrassing, but that stuff is awesome, and I’m going to keep using it.”

My friend was dumbfounded. I don’t know what’s worse, a guy who hooks up with other girls and lies about it to your face or a guy who uses slightly-tinted lip balm from the beauty section of Urban Outfitters

Masturbation is a taboo subject when we discuss sex. Often it is an overlooked form of pleasure for the next two weeks I will explore masturbation.

Currently I am reading “Tickle Your Fancy”. It is opening my eyes to masturbation in a whole new light. I need help learning to accept masturbation as an alternative to sex. I want to learn to embrace my body as a temple. One that I can please myself.

I have always viewed masturbation as unhealthy; in fact it has always conjured up unhealthy feelings of shame, embarrassment, and has always been shrouded in secrecy.

This book is teaching me how healthy masturbation can be. There are three reasons that speak to me personally.

First, it boosts self-esteem because it creates self-confidence. It enables you to overcome personal inhibitions and fulfill your sexual desires. I have been self-conscious of my sexual self. I can never let down my guard and allow things to be pleasurable for both of us. My focal point has always been on him. I always want to get him off in fact I almost didn’t purchase this book because of my strong focus on him. But I knew I needed to learn to focus on myself sexually. I want to feel confident in myself in the bedroom. I know I can please him but then who is pleasing me. A light bulb went off I have to learn to please me before I delve deep into pleasing him.

There also physiological benefits regular orgasms induce a state of peaceful relaxation by releasing your body’s pleasure chemicals, called endorphins, from the brain. Orgasms scare the hell out of me. The loss of control is terrifying. The first time I had one I thought I was having a heart attack. The way my body seized uncontrollably scared me to death. I never wanted it to happen again and have been hell bent on preventing it every since. Crazy right?

Lastly, you can choose to be abstinent. Masturbation provides sexual release without the need for a partner. I feel ashamed alone so I have to involve a partner. When I was young I did not know masturbation was healthy. No one explained to me it was a healthy sexual release ever. I learned that later in life but I always believed real sex involves two people always.

Many things we learn early on remain etched in our memory banks. These things are often resistant to ideal changes. Touching yourself was always weird and I have to reprogram that way of thinking. I hope this journey enables me to see masturbation as both healthy and natural.

Is masturbation healthy? Why or why not? Share your thoughts below.

I have suffered from low self-esteem for way too long. I have allowed it to play as my enabler in many facets of my life. I will focus today on how it has impacted me in my dating life.

They always says don’t look for a man he will find you. I have always believed that the man for me will come to me and be heaven sent. So why has hell been reigning over my dating life. Part of it could be I have played the victim role so much I really believe I have been victimized by love. What a farce! My arduous road to love is a direct correlation to my unwillingness to love myself. Sure I look in the mirror occasionally to check my hair and outfit but I never stand there long enough to peer into the very heart of me. I am broken in so many ways. If I look too long I will point out all my flaws and figuratively tear myself apart.

When I was on hiatus from dating I began to do some serious introspection. I actually began to like me and then like always I found a man to help me get off track and lose sight of me. The woman I was beginning to see. I always immerse myself into a man. It is so easy for me to put him on a pedestal and cater to his every need. Thinking somehow I will convince him I am the one not knowing I am showing him I don’t love myself and unworthy of the title I so desperately want to be bestowed. I will lose my identity in him I won’t write, not even journal I am consumed by the thought of being in love. My day revolves around him and how he feels. What a sad state of affairs it truly is.

Every time I hit rock bottom in love it comes back to the same solution learn to love you. How can someone invest in my stock when I am selling my shares and not investing in the company? No man would invest in me especially when he doesn’t know what’s going on with the company if something is wrong internally, but I know. If I don’t invest, neither would he. I have time and time proven I am an unworthy stock. Now I am saying that for pity, I am saying that because it is true. I cannot gain support for a cause I don’t myself believe in.

So much of who I am is about keeping up appearances and wanting to belong. I want to be accepted it stems from being rejected long ago. I have to deal with my past demons and the entire trauma that I have endured. I have to say I was victimized but I am no longer a victim. Unfortunately, in my case the opposite is true I am a professional victim. Internally, I blame my past for so many things and truth be told I am still living in my past. I am still that insecure girl from all those years ago. I need reassurance that I am beautiful. The men I date see that I am desperate and desiring of their approval and they run with that. In all honesty I cannot blame them for my current state. It is my own fault.

To hell with thinking like a man, time to think like a boss.

We’ve all been there. Sitting alone, upset, rejected, wondering, “what the heck just happened?” That’s where I was at the end of my last relationship. The sad thing was, I knew exactly what had happened, and I knew I could have stopped it.

It had all started nearly a year and a half ago. One Friday night, while I was with a friend at a party, I spotted this gorgeous guy from across the room – 6’2” with beautiful big brown eyes and a smile that was infectious. My friend and I giggled at the thought of talking to him. After a few minutes of her badgering me to “make a move,” I mustered up all the courage I had to talk to him. I shyly started sauntering over, trying desperately to think of some ridiculous excuse to talk to him, and when I got there, all I could think of to say was, “Uh, I like your shoes.” Did I really just say that?! For some reason he found this endearing and smiled. After that, by some miracle, we hit it off.

Soon following that fateful Friday night, we had our first date, and by the end of it, I knew he was perfect for me. Within a week, I had fallen madly in love with him. Within two months, we were planning a future together. It was a bit of a whirlwind romance, but neither of us seemed to mind. We had an amazing relationship; it wasn’t perfect, but we were happy. However, as you know, this story doesn’t have a happy ending.

The trouble began a few months into our relationship. We had seen each other every single day since we had started dating, and by this point, we were extremely comfortable with each other. In fact, it was almost like we were just extensions of each other. I had stopped seeing us as individuals but more as a unit, like those celebrities with combined names, “Brangelina.” We stopped having meaningful conversations, and the topics we spoke about all ended up being the same, “hey, how was your day?” Like I didn’t already know what he had been doing all day. But, we were always together, so that must mean we were still close, right? As it turns out, just being near someone, doesn’t mean you’re actually interacting with them. Nothing had really changed about our relationship, and yet it was completely different. We were still doing the same things, going out to dinner downtown, going to the movies, holding hands, kissing, and yet none of those things held the same meaning anymore. We did all those things out of routine and no longer out of desire to spend meaningful quality time with one another. We even acknowledged this at one point in time, but we didn’t think much of it, after all, we were so close. We couldn’t possibly be falling apart.

One day, while browsing, I stumbled upon a blog by Dr. Lisa Firestone. This blog discussed something called a fantasy bond, which is, in essence, when two people have an illusion of connection but who are no longer truly in love. I knew, right then and there, my boyfriend and I were in a fantasy bond; we were no longer really in love. My world shattered. After this revelation, I did everything in my power to try to get our relationship back on track. We struggled with it for months, we even broke up and got back together in the process, but all that effort was in vain. Our relationship had fallen victim to the fantasy bond, and we only had ourselves to blame. It was over. When we broke up he admitted he just didn’t love me anymore. That hurt, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as knowing that I played my part in getting to that point. I had unknowingly actively engaged in turning our relationship into a fantasy bond.

It has been a few months now since our break up, and I’m finally getting back on my feet. I have hope that one day I’ll find someone I can have a healthy relationship with, because now, I know how to keep my next relationship from turning into a fantasy bond.

Good hot cocoa and good sex can both be delicious and satisfying. When each is good, it puts a smile on your face. You feel warm and happy afterwards. You often want more. When shared with someone you care about, they are fun and a great way to spend some time and you don’t say no when either is proposed.

However, hot cocoa without sugar is unsatisfying. In fact, it’s bitter and unpleasant.

So is sex without trust and an emotional connection — at least for most midlife women. This is the key component — the sugar — that makes it delightful.

Yes, there are women who can frolic without the need for any emotional bond. However, nearly all the midlife women I’ve talked to say they need that for satisfying sex.

So when a new guy said he was sexually attracted to me, I thanked him for the compliment. (Even though I know it doesn’t take much for some men to be sexually attracted to lots of women.) I said I found him attractive, too, but it took more than physical attraction for me to want sex with a man.

After we parted, I came up with the metaphor. It might have helped that I’d had hot cocoa with this man. I wished I’d come up with it when we were together as I think it would have explained my perspective.

What do you feel is the critical ingredient for satisfying sex?

Has anyone ever been in this situation? Like all I do is work and on weekends I never have plans other than gym, then after that I just stay in bed all day and look forward to dinner where I would usually cook a meal or order take out. I'm considering working a part time job on the weekends just so I won't stay home at rot all day. I had an unproductive 3 day weekend doing nothing. I planned a trip with friends but they had other plans with their s/o so I just ended up staying home all weekend.

I'm 36 years old now and lost my social circle as I grew older, since they all got married and had kids/have kids on the way and just stay in most of the time. I don't know if I'm depressed but even after work I have no desire to do anything other than lay in bed and browse on my phone/watch Netflix. I also miss having a g/f but I don't know if I'm at the right mindset for a girlfriend at the moment or to be dating, I am trying anyway. I just want to meet new people in my age bracket, Ive looked at meet up and other dating websites but not a lot of people seem to be in my area and the others are just an older crowd. I literally only have one friend I can call but this guy is just so boring and all he wants to do is eat out then go home. He's not social either so he's more like an eat out buddy

I also notice myself reminiscing about the past times with my ex when we would always have plans, go on vacations/getaways together every holiday, and wishing I can re-live those moments but I know it will never happen. That's why i joined here on this site to make some changes

Any advice guys? Leave your comments here

I was going out with this guy I know from work to a bowling club. Once there, he informed me that the name his friends call him is Superman and insisted that I refer to him by that name throughout the night. He also showed me where he had intentionally created a Superman logo tan on his chest – by legitimately painting his chest with sunscreen in the logo and waiting to get burnt everywhere else!

During the same night, he also insisted that I pay and said, “you’re so lucky to have someone like me around”. I thought I could forgive his obvious lack of experience with women/general lack of social skills and told myself that I would just stick with it through one date. The final straw though was when he started singing “Whistle” by Flo-Rida and making suggestive movements to the words “blow my whistle baby”! I made an excuse and bolted towards the door, but before I could get out of the date, he grabbed my hand, kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. This was on the second date, after having known each other for less than a week! No, thanks – next!

deserve it. Even after he revealed he had two children (by two different mothers), that wasn’t a show stoppeAbout 8 years ago, I was dating a guy I was way too good for this guy, even though he didn’t r for me. I was so naive and full-hearted that I brushed away any evidence that he was a) an asshole or b) cheating on me. Of course, he was, both of those things. 

When reality first began to dawn on me I was crushed, heartbroken. I guess I must have gone through an angry phase too, although I don’t really remember feeling angry when I did this next thing; however it was pretty spiteful so I have to assume it was motivated in part by anger.

He wanted some things back that he had left at my place… Of course, I said, come get them. Among these things was a t.shirt that said “PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY.” (I know, okay, I told you he was an asshole.) Looking at this stupid, stupid article of clothing I was suddenly hit with a brilliant idea. I went to work with scissors, needle and thread in a way that would have made my grandmother proud (unless she knew the result I had in mind). Carefully I cut apart each letter, carefully I rearranged them, carefully I sewed them back together. I folded the shirt and put it in the stack of items for Mr. Big Pimpin’ to collect. When he came to gather his things I was calm, kind even- “I wish you the best” and all that. I kissed his cheek and watched him walk away with his belongings, including a shirt now bearing the message “I AM A TINY PENIS.”

Now I have my life back to normal and has work out my self esteem and I have join a dating #www.DominoDate.com to help me find my perfect match

After spending months going on HORRIBLE dates and having to tell the story over and over to friends and family I'm creating a blog where they can all go and READ.

For example:
This past Sat night I went on a date with a man that halfway through dinner put his right hand on his right ear and laid his head down on the table! When I asked if he was okay, he responded that he had a ringing in his ear. That it happened periodically and that he was pretty sure he was picking up some form of communication...............it took everything I had not to laugh in his face! That was just ONE of the things that happened on that date and I gotten to the point where my bad dates are just funny stories for me now.

Beside i have join a this dating site #dominodate.com and in hope to find some new friends and a real man who are looking for date and companionship like i do.

Leave your comment and questions here if you have one, i hope to get feedback from you guys